People that know me well know that I am not big on holidays. One of my least favorite is Valentine's Day. Don't get me wrong, I'm actually a romantic. Body massages, foot rubs, cute text messages, cuddling, etc...I am into that. My issue with this holiday because it is yet another unquestioned Catholic "saintly" dedication day turned into a big boost-the-economy-while-making-people-feel-good-about-it day, on which people feel they need to put on a show. What's on the channel today? The Love Boat.
When I was young, I remembered watching re-runs of the Love Boat. Being so young, I didn't really know what the name of the show was supposed to mean. It was a show where the characters set sail to the wide open seas; the people were funny, friendly and gave their passengers a trip they wouldn't forget. As I got older, shows like that faded and the trend became about the "real" people. Let's remove ourselves from modern society's often too real drama and drift a little.
Board the Love Boat with me. Let's set sail to island hoping in French Polynesia to Bora Bora, Tahiti and Marquesas Islands. What makes this even better is the person we have a romantic relationship with (spouse, life partner..) is taking part of this journey. Some people may take the entire trip and other will get off on the next island and fly back home. Either way, everyone intends to make the journey and the investment it took to be board. Let's call this love (like a lot, infatuation..whatever you are more comfortable with). Now just cruise....lay back and enjoy. Some parts are bumpy and there may be some rain but you are not alone.
Upon boarding this trip, the activities director handed both of you a package. It had your room keys, plan of the ship, the itinerary of the trip, and finally a schedule of events in which you are highly recommended to attend to maximize your trip. The latter has Valentine's Day on it as your 10 a.m. Cupid brunch extravaganza - your vouchers with seat assignments included. Catch my drift? (pardon the pun). My problem with this is that you've basically invested hard-earned value to be told that at a certain time, a certain place, you should be somewhere and doing something specific. You've been given an agenda on a journey. I don't know about you but when I invest in something I hold as valuable, I want to enjoy by free will. Now when two people have invested in each other, they should be able to either coordinate such efforts by inspiration throughout their journey or just on a whim..why? Just because. Some people prefer not having to think their way through things and letting the schedule of events coast them their their vacation - a passive existence.
I equate flowers, chocolate, champagne, lingerie, f-me heels, dinner, and cards in various shades of pinks/reds/whites to the agenda on a cruise and even, the script of the Love Boat. Its the same thing that runs on a timer with certain expectations. Its a temporary situation to awaken our senses to a reality that is primarily one-sided. Us, women are the bulk of anticipated viewers. "Happy Valentine's Day", "Be my Valentine", and "I love you", the words so many wait to hear specifically today. The show is on.
By now, you are saying.. wow.."this chick is one hell of a damaged piece of work"...or.."why did she call herself a romantic again"". Understandably so because my thoughts and beliefs were not inspired by Hallmark cards. To go back to the boat/cruise analogy, I will explain what I do believe is real - the sea.
Call it an island girl thing or whatever but I love the sea. In the analogy of this post it symbolizes what love is supposed to be - a mystery, strength, calm, power, in motion and always present whether you are there to see it or not. Whether with someone or not, it exists in pictures, postcards, billboards, tv shows, etc. Whether you dip you feet in it, or dive to the deepest parts you can go, it is an experience. THIS is why I loved to watch Love Boat (and Gilligan's Islands). Now as an adult, I know it takes a consorted effort between human and nature (or fate) for a successful trip to happen, not an agenda inside a cruise ship. You are missing all of the action because they words on paper and the promises give more immediate satisfaction. I just prefer action...the power the verb over the noun.
On this day, do the extras. I'm not saying you shouldn't but on who-the-heck-is-Saint Valentine's Day, also remember that the ride shouldn't be extra special because you are given a plan. It is extra special because it is yet another day in your lives together..or if you are single, another day you recollect memories and look forward towards dipping your feet in the waters again.
Showing posts with label committed relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label committed relationship. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Sunday, January 8, 2012
My Threesome
In every single woman's life, there's a moment when you realize you need to open your mind to new experiences. In New York, everyone is always on the go, things are always coming up and people do their darnest to maximize every opportunity that cuts the work day monotony. For me, It’s never planned and it’s not something I enjoy but it happens. A few weeks ago, it happened again on a date; a menagerie between me, him and his Blackberry.
I will call my date Mr Dev . It all started when a friend of mine called me saying he had found “THE” guy for me. “He’s perfect! Tall, smart, funny, handsome, not a crazy club guy! Just what you need”. Description sounded great and after coming from a serious asshole relationship, I was craving the company of a real adult. After connecting on Facebook, going through each other’s pictures, sending voicenotes on BBM and a phone conversation, we arranged to have dinner on a Saturday night. I arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early, of course, to avoid walking in obviously looking for a stranger (my own guilt speaking) and to get first pick at a seat where I could see Mr Dev walking in (have to make sure the “babies” are perfectly tucked into my bra). Right on time, a cab pulls up and this tall, handsome, well-dressed man walks out, Mr Dev had arrived. I take my time to enjoy every second to admire how, despite looking down at his phone with a taking-care-of-business manner, he efficiently grabbed cash with his left hand then leaned over to get the change with a big “Thanks” smile. My kindda guy…ahhh…a multi-tasker.
“Hello. Good to finally meet you. The mystery is over and I’ve got to say I’m glad your Facebook pictures are accurate” he says to break the ice and we both laugh. He smells nice, has an amazing smile, and has a voice so sexy I wondered why we didn’t speak on the phone more often. Then I heard it “Bing!”, he continues to speak and with that smooth tasking ability of his, grabs his phone, glances and continues on his train of thought. Then the symphony begins “bing” “dong” “tweet” then what started as glances become pauses to full concentration. At that point is where the threesome was forced upon me. I watched that whore of a contraption shine a soft touchscreen glow spotlighting Mr Dev’s intense hypnotized focus; observed his protective grip to it , touching the buttons at incredible speed but all so carefully. I’m being c-blocked by a machine. “I’m sorry I just get all of these messages and..work”. WTF? It’s a Saturday, I thought, can’t that wait for when you get home?. Like a good woman,“I understand”, which means I want to drive my fork in your neck but he couldn’t see my visual sarcasm. I huffed and puffed, and the waiter walked over for our order for the 3rd time potentially saving me from blowing the house down and looking like I’m an attention hungry looney. “Are you ready to order” “yes we are”, I replied to help whatever “this” is move along. “I’ll take the seafood salad, I think he mentioned the linguini 10 minutes ago..um, excuse me Mr Dev, what will your Blackberry be having?”. He stops typing, looks at me surprised clearly showing he had no idea where my dry humor was coming from. “Linguini sounds great. Um..how about after dinner we go by a friend’s place for a get together they are having?”. Although happy that Lady Blackberry wasn’t invited just to show me he’s not interested in spending time with me, I’m now turned off (pardon the pun). Skipping dessert, used a lame excuse to go home accepting that I was just the passive participant in an terzetto; teased and left aside to just watch. Damn.
I will call my date Mr Dev . It all started when a friend of mine called me saying he had found “THE” guy for me. “He’s perfect! Tall, smart, funny, handsome, not a crazy club guy! Just what you need”. Description sounded great and after coming from a serious asshole relationship, I was craving the company of a real adult. After connecting on Facebook, going through each other’s pictures, sending voicenotes on BBM and a phone conversation, we arranged to have dinner on a Saturday night. I arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early, of course, to avoid walking in obviously looking for a stranger (my own guilt speaking) and to get first pick at a seat where I could see Mr Dev walking in (have to make sure the “babies” are perfectly tucked into my bra). Right on time, a cab pulls up and this tall, handsome, well-dressed man walks out, Mr Dev had arrived. I take my time to enjoy every second to admire how, despite looking down at his phone with a taking-care-of-business manner, he efficiently grabbed cash with his left hand then leaned over to get the change with a big “Thanks” smile. My kindda guy…ahhh…a multi-tasker.
“Hello. Good to finally meet you. The mystery is over and I’ve got to say I’m glad your Facebook pictures are accurate” he says to break the ice and we both laugh. He smells nice, has an amazing smile, and has a voice so sexy I wondered why we didn’t speak on the phone more often. Then I heard it “Bing!”, he continues to speak and with that smooth tasking ability of his, grabs his phone, glances and continues on his train of thought. Then the symphony begins “bing” “dong” “tweet” then what started as glances become pauses to full concentration. At that point is where the threesome was forced upon me. I watched that whore of a contraption shine a soft touchscreen glow spotlighting Mr Dev’s intense hypnotized focus; observed his protective grip to it , touching the buttons at incredible speed but all so carefully. I’m being c-blocked by a machine. “I’m sorry I just get all of these messages and..work”. WTF? It’s a Saturday, I thought, can’t that wait for when you get home?. Like a good woman,“I understand”, which means I want to drive my fork in your neck but he couldn’t see my visual sarcasm. I huffed and puffed, and the waiter walked over for our order for the 3rd time potentially saving me from blowing the house down and looking like I’m an attention hungry looney. “Are you ready to order” “yes we are”, I replied to help whatever “this” is move along. “I’ll take the seafood salad, I think he mentioned the linguini 10 minutes ago..um, excuse me Mr Dev, what will your Blackberry be having?”. He stops typing, looks at me surprised clearly showing he had no idea where my dry humor was coming from. “Linguini sounds great. Um..how about after dinner we go by a friend’s place for a get together they are having?”. Although happy that Lady Blackberry wasn’t invited just to show me he’s not interested in spending time with me, I’m now turned off (pardon the pun). Skipping dessert, used a lame excuse to go home accepting that I was just the passive participant in an terzetto; teased and left aside to just watch. Damn.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
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