My Threesome

In every single woman's life, there's a moment when you realize you need to open your mind to new experiences. In New York, everyone is always on the go, things are always coming up and people do their darnest to maximize every opportunity that cuts the work day monotony. For me, It’s never planned and it’s not something I enjoy but it happens. A few weeks ago, it happened again on a date; a menagerie between me, him and his Blackberry.

I will call my date Mr Dev . It all started when a friend of mine called me saying he had found “THE” guy for me. “He’s perfect! Tall, smart, funny, handsome, not a crazy club guy! Just what you need”. Description sounded great and after coming from a serious asshole relationship, I was craving the company of a real adult. After connecting on Facebook, going through each other’s pictures, sending voicenotes on BBM and a phone conversation, we arranged to have dinner on a Saturday night. I arrived at the restaurant 15 minutes early, of course, to avoid walking in obviously looking for a stranger (my own guilt speaking) and to get first pick at a seat where I could see Mr Dev walking in (have to make sure the “babies” are perfectly tucked into my bra). Right on time, a cab pulls up and this tall, handsome, well-dressed man walks out, Mr Dev had arrived. I take my time to enjoy every second to admire how, despite looking down at his phone with a taking-care-of-business manner, he efficiently grabbed cash with his left hand then leaned over to get the change with a big “Thanks” smile. My kindda guy…ahhh…a multi-tasker.

“Hello. Good to finally meet you. The mystery is over and I’ve got to say I’m glad your Facebook pictures are accurate” he says to break the ice and we both laugh. He smells nice, has an amazing smile, and has a voice so sexy I wondered why we didn’t speak on the phone more often. Then I heard it “Bing!”, he continues to speak and with that smooth tasking ability of his, grabs his phone, glances and continues on his train of thought. Then the symphony begins “bing” “dong” “tweet” then what started as glances become pauses to full concentration. At that point is where the threesome was forced upon me. I watched that whore of a contraption shine a soft touchscreen glow spotlighting Mr Dev’s intense hypnotized focus; observed his protective grip to it , touching the buttons at incredible speed but all so carefully. I’m being c-blocked by a machine. “I’m sorry I just get all of these messages and..work”. WTF? It’s a Saturday, I thought, can’t that wait for when you get home?. Like a good woman,“I understand”, which means I want to drive my fork in your neck but he couldn’t see my visual sarcasm. I huffed and puffed, and the waiter walked over for our order for the 3rd time potentially saving me from blowing the house down and looking like I’m an attention hungry looney. “Are you ready to order” “yes we are”, I replied to help whatever “this” is move along. “I’ll take the seafood salad, I think he mentioned the linguini 10 minutes ago..um, excuse me Mr Dev, what will your Blackberry be having?”. He stops typing, looks at me surprised clearly showing he had no idea where my dry humor was coming from. “Linguini sounds great. Um..how about after dinner we go by a friend’s place for a get together they are having?”. Although happy that Lady Blackberry wasn’t invited just to show me he’s not interested in spending time with me, I’m now turned off (pardon the pun). Skipping dessert, used a lame excuse to go home accepting that I was just the passive participant in an terzetto; teased and left aside to just watch. Damn.