Vajayjay pampering for Valentine's day - Vajazzling

So..I am still single. It has been a year since I was in a relationship and I must say that I have (and am) enjoying focusing on myself for a change. Nonetheless, Valentine's day has a way to creep its ugly head and give us single women this day to remind us that (a) our dating options suck (b) we are alone. I propose thst V-day give us a (c) option : a day where we do something sexy, out-of-box just for our own enjoyment. What have I uncovered? A little beauty secret called Vajazzling.

Vajazzling is a process that has been grown in popularity especially since Jennifer Love Hewitt found it "realeasing" enough to dedicate a chapter to it in her book! Its a process whereby you get a completely bare bikini wax then your "little miss thang" gets blinged out! You can get a preset design or for some extra bucks, a custom design. From a little star to a bikini completely made out of glued on crystals, your vagaygay gets accessorized and ready for ...uh..I dunno.

Now I know what you are saying, well if I'm single, whom will get to see it? Well you are missing the point, its can be your own naughty secret! or if you are into that kind of thing, make a great picture to drunk send to someone you like. As unlady-like as the latter is, I feel it may show a creative side of yourself that someone you've been getting close too had not seen.

If you are married or dating someone, Vajazzling can be a great present you both can share. Granted, you are the one whose poontang is risking a rash or walking unconfortably but, come on...as women, we've endured more pain than that for the sake of pleasing out significant others and ourselves.

http://brazilbronze.com/vajazzeling in NYC

www.beautyofwax.com in Miami

google Vajazzling in your city to find a location that does it!

PS - please don't send me pics. LOL...but I'm more then willing to hear about the experience!

Counting Petals - Is the feeling real?

Do they love me or love me not? Pluck, pull and watch a false sense of fortune-telling slowly fall to the ground.

SNAP OUT OF IT...

Forget psychics, your horoscope, and what the "others" say. They don't know much more than you do. Hell, you can even forget what I say (written)......but answering the first question should come from your gut. What's the gut? It's your instinct. That's little voice inside of you that says "this is good" and "watch out!" that we sometimes ignore to give into other "talking" parts. How do I know if its telling me the truth? You don't. That's the gamble in life, love, and human interactions in general. We have to take the leap, but a calculated one. Below, I've complied a general list based on several conversations I've had with both male and female friends (varying ages, sexual orientation, social status, race, religion) on how to tell if someone really likes you sincerely, or NOT. Since I, too, have a 50% chance of getting confused between my gut instincts and my hopes, I was happy to realize that no matter how much you think you know, there is always more to learn.

Consider below a list of modern day cues, challenged myths and harmless tests in the search for true feelings. They broken down into categories of "LIKES YOU", "NOT" and WOFT (Watch Out For Thorns). Specific exceptions may follow some of these points indicated by "BUT" (couldn't think of any floral references for this word). As you read, you'll get it. I'm sure the A.D.D is kicking in already...

DISCLAIMER: a) This list in non-exclusive. There are several other thoughts, suggestions and tips I didn't include so don't write me telling me "you forgot to say blah blah". I'm not writing a novel here. b) Just because this list clarifies your questions doesn't mean that they aren't subject to change. Love/Like are emotions and emotions are constantly evolving. Only apply these points, to your situation as it stands now, immediate future or in recent past.

1. Meeting the parents. WOFT. First of all if they live at home, then you kindda have to meet their parents anyway so that negates any voluntary intention. Back in the days, meeting parents were the ultimate approval step. Now? I've heard of parents having breakfast with a 1 night stand. Observe to see if they may have one of those "modern" families where they know about everything and everyone because they have an open-minded mentally. If they say, "Hope you stick around long"...then run.
2. Meeting the best friends. WOFT. This means nothing. Their friends may be the sweetest and coolest people but they may just actually be just that...cool. Their interest is their friend's best interest. If their friend's interest is you on a temporary basis, they'll be cool with it. Don't just start exchanging numbers off the bat and trying too hard to make them like you. BUT if all of their friends are coupled up every time you hang out, this may mean something different. Let your gut tell you if they're just using you to not feel left out though.
3. Friend in Need. LIKES YOU. They are and want to be there for you even when you don't ask for help...not in a "I have nothing better to do" or "I need a hobby" way. They just want to contribute to making things within their capacity, easier for you, without anything in return. For example, you've been working long hours and didn't have time to get food earlier (but you can now), but they still make you dinner or get some for you. Another example, you are stuck at an appointment and need to get stamps before the post office closes. Without needing to ask, they volunteer to get you some and drop them off at your place after work. BUT if they ask you to get naked after helping, every time, or now have a list of favors to ask you all of the time...beware.
4. Overly Jealous. NOT. Most people would say that the jealousy is the sign of someone that just can't bare the thought of losing them. This is not true. Overly jealous people are insecure, possessive, control-freaks, and extremely attention hungry. Someone can not care about you at all and still be jealous! That's because they feel you are their bone (canine analogy) until they are done with you...and EVEN THEN can still want claim on you. There are people who date several people at once and still want each persons' undivided loyalty! Remember, this is a character flaw and most likely will never change so you have to figure out if this is something you can handle giving your personality, lifestyle and habits. BUT, if the jealousy is subtle, quiet, passive and infrequent, then this is a good sign. A little rational jealousy is good. Keeps the other person on their toes and can be an indication that they demand a standard of respect in the relationship. This is very healthy so be understanding.
5. Staring. LIKES YOU. You catch them staring at you once in a while with a subtle smile on their face while you are speaking to others. You are being admired. Relish it. This person finds the simple things you do, your sweat after the gym, and messy hair in the morning - refreshing. This is nice. BUT don't confuse the "wow I'm impressed" stare with the dead on "if we were alone, I would put you in pain for days" stare. The latter can be good idea (not to mention needed once in a while), but good doesn't mean sincere feelings. It may just mean the sexual chemistry is explosive and the true feeling is but a lit match.
   
6. You are better than the ex. I say NOT! Someone that keeps comparing you to their ex is someone that has baggage. Yes, they can reference the ex as a base for comparison from a fresh break up, occasionally. But there are the people, that still have ex's pics everywhere (phone, online, home, etc), complains about them, find excuses to talk about them all of the time, and tells you how much better you are........move on. They need a therapist. BUT if his closest friend or parents mention it once, that's a huge plus. You ARE doing something good. Pat yourself on the back and continue the good work.
7. Extended Cuddling and Sniffing. LIKES YOU. After sex and its still relatively early, they want to pull you closer and hold you all night. They hear/feel them smelling your hair and neck. They just want you close because it makes them feel good. They feel comfortable. This may even occur even when sex isn't involved like at the movies, on a walk through the mall, or at a family barbecue. Don't act like a jerk and coy by asking why they are doing that. You know why. Just let them do it subtly.
8. Relatively Expensive, Hard to Get, or highly Creative Gifts. WOFT. If you are getting what you consider very expensive gifts (what most likely you can't get for yourself usually)...this can go either way. Some people learned growing up and/or believe that respect and loyalty are bought. Those people also believe that everyone has a price. The only good news here is you find out what they think yours is (this may boost confidence or hurt a lot). Examples, multi-millionaire buys you a pair of shoes and a few trinkets....you are priced low. Hotel manager buys tickets to the sold out golf tournaments that you've been dying to go to by combing the internet for weeks...you are priced high. Recent college graduate surprises you by buying oils to give you a personal "spa" afternoon and makes their specialty that takes 2 hours to make.......priced very high. Everything is relative. It depends on person, what the gift is and MORE IMPORTANTLY what thought went into the gift, whether $5 at McDonalds because they know you are hungry LOVE the burgers and fries OR a stunning diamond watch just because it would look great on you. Someone that likes you for real wants it to be just perfect. Its your happiness they want, not just an easy way to brownie points or to boost their own egos.
9. Anytime, Anyplace. LIKES YOU. Example, you are at the hottest party of the year, start to feel tired and say let's go, they just say "ok" or finish their drink , start gathering their things, and initiate their goodbyes. They don't say " not yet..I can't leave my friends"; or "I'm going to the bathroom" then disappear to chat and leave you waiting around; or " You are a party pooper"; or "Have one more drink". If they want a little bit more time, they ask nicely for a reasonable extension like 20 minutes. This person enjoys being where ever you are. Its also great if most of the event, the person was next or within visible proximity to you...not because you asked, they have no friends or they think you'll get jealous. They do it because this is where they CHOOSE to be, PREFER to be. Other example, they may love their every Friday night spot, but you suggest movies and a pizza instead? They are down. A better sign is when they don't need to you invite your friends or theirs all of the time. You should be enough sometimes. BUT remember, everyone needs their personal space and time to be with their closest friends without you. Also beware of the person that ALWAYS wants to be alone with you, meet you at your/their place most of the time, or in "off the beaten path" places that aren't their usual spots. They may be trying to keep your "thing" under wraps for some reason...hummm.
10. They told you so. NOT. This has not, is not and never will be an indicator of whether the person really likes you or not. They might be a good player, or bad at breaking heart,s or they really like you. Who knows?! The only way it may means something more is if the statement is unsolicited, the tone, eye contact, the moment and other factors all play well with each other. This one really requires your gut!!! Always remember.......words don't create as strong memories as actual actions do. No matter what the person says, make sure it matches the little and big things they do combined with enough time to allow these actions to repeat themselves. ALL people behave in patterns. Just like players that pretend to be "good", eventually let their true self out ; the person that is truly sincere will show this over and over again - with you, with others. Observe. Words to live by told by my mother: "You can change someones habits but not character". "A person's past and present, gives hints to their future". Don't let wishful thinking or the beautiful sounds of a 3 word phrase, knock out your senses. BUT Closed mouths don't get fed...just ask if you are ready. listen and watch.

:-)

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IT IS WHAT IT IS - Friend with benefits

This is a post about the hush hush topic of the booty calls, ore specifically the "friend" with benefits. This type of relationship is one that is supposed to be based on mutual understanding of privacy, undefined timelines (continuance and frequency) of the encounters, comfort with the partner, ease combined with access and primarily physical with a small percentage based on a "click". This is to be the simplest form of sexual encounters which has some dignity, not to mention, a better sense of dependability, above the one-night-stand.

Attraction + Access + Horny + Clarity on in-exclusivity and maybe some conversation and cuddling to boot = Perfection for a single person (hopefully)! This is trully THE cake and eating it too (no pun intended).

So why do some people make it so damn complicated???

This is why I decided to write a non-exclusive list of that it takes to make this kind of a relationship work and not (Disclaimer - IF a serious relationship is not what you or they don't want any time soon):

1- It won't last forever so you always have to be prepared to let it go. Why? Maybe one of the partners starts dating someone else seriously and doesn't want to cheat. Maybe the naughty allure goes away and it becomes habitual. Maybe there is just a better option. Maybe you/they think because you/they are violating some of the rules in this list that you are getting attached. Whatever it is, you just have to keep in mind to enjoy it while it lasts.

2- NEVER discuss anything which includes both of you in future tense, especially if it doesn't include a bed or place where sex is possible. Example: let's go to the beach next week....Will you be here this weekend (unless you or they live out of town)...Uh I think I'm going to have my period...Me and the Boys are going to watch the game on Friday, wanna come? Why?.. because this will share the crap out of a commitment phobe. It gives the impression that the relationship is less about the "urge and click" and becoming part of the life and company...maybe more.

3- GUYS: If you start inviting a girl out in public and hanging out with her just for company , there is a 80% chance that no matter how "cool" and "understanding" she is, she is going to start getting mixed signals. At least 50% are going to think..."wow, I'm sure there are other girls and he asked me". She may say that to some of her lonely friends or mother desperate to get her married then they start feeding her with HOPEFUL stories (ref my blog post called Cover to my pot..the Story continues). Then you add confusion. This is not fair to her.

4 -GALS: Don't enter this type of an arrangement hoping that he'll change his mind and make you his girl. I've heard this a million times!! AHHH! The "you-never-know" girls. The "I-can-change-him" chicks. The "I'm-the-best-for-him" dreamer. The he-keeps-coming-back-for-more" delusion. One thing most women don't get is the "IT IS WHAT IT IS" concept. We are feed so many fairy tale endings that we create in our mind an ideal ending before the characters are even in play! This has a 15% chance in my observation. ONLY in Poker can one, place an all-in bet on a 15% probability and hoping to win on a bluff. You are his go-to, reliable, understanding, easy sex partner. He has to become the same thing to you in your mind. Nothing more , nothing less. Anything that grows out of that should be a cherry on the cake and surprise.

5- NEVER say "we need to talk". There are only a few things that means and none of it is good. Pregnancy, STD, Money loan request, Relationship future clarity, Feeling discussion or ending things. Unless you have money missing from your wallet, those are the only topics I can come up with. Anyone of those topics can destroy the entire thing so be realistic of the possible consequences. I suggest dropping some hints, using stories of other people (real or imaginary) and see how they react first.

6- GALS: Don't go over if you have your period. Period.

7- Don't call/text everyday and/or hook up more than 3 times a week....you are edging towards "serious" territory

8- Don't be shocked if you see them in public with another person. Remember, you are supposed to be understanding. you are supposed to be dating others too. Give a casual wave or if close, cheek kiss. Also you have no right to get jealous. Remember just because you decided, your partner is enough for your urges, doesn't mean its the same for them. So don't try to kill their game! And, don't ask follow up questions unless they volunteer. finally, don't hate on the other person. IT IS WHAT IT IS.

9- If condoms are not being used, that's yo problem (with gangster swag). What me to use another gambling analogy? Didn't think so. You got it...

10- You must NOT leave your belongings at their place! no toothbrushes, underwear, gym bag..whatever. Its a game kill AND territorial! this over steps the boundaries again.

11- Don't go telling everybody. Have some decency and respect towards the other person. Jeez! We are not in high school anymore (at least I hope no one that needs this advice is..eek!)

12- These relationships are not supposed to have fights or be therapy sessions. They are meant to be freeing, fun, relaxing, and as nasty as you want to be. Check your issues and "am I fat" questions at the door. Once sensitivities, jealousy, personal issues, ex s (or currents), etc come into play....its time for an exit strategy.

BONUS and BIGGIE: Valentine's Day...hummmm. Do you give something or not? What if they don't get you anything? Something small? What if I give off the wrong signal? What if they think I'm over stepping the boundaries?... Come on people! It's Valentine's day and you guys have SEX so be mature and nice..just give them something. Panties, body oil, new sheets? Whatever represents your arrangement. Nothing too personal, at least the first year or if Valentine's day falls within the first 4 months of your encounters.

Now the real question is whether you guys should spend it together.....

I'm not a genius folks. Figure the last bit yourselves because I have no idea. :-)

Ps..Other DISCLAIMER...Percentages above do not represent and real quantitative analysis... my random assumptions. LOL