My grandmother used read me stories of Cinderella and such when I was a young girl. The endless stories of how a man will come, everything will fall into place, the signs will be there, and two people meant by destiny to be together, will be. Why? "Because that's how its supposed to be", my twice divorced Grandma ma said (supported by my 3 times married mother). She said "every pot has its cover"... God bless them! I love them regardless...
A friend of mine and I were chatting on Facebook today. She told me she is trying to get over a guy that she loves very much and loves her. She said he told her these unique, extraordinary sentences that I had never heard before (sarcasm): "You are perfect for me. Couldn't imagine or wish for anything else! BUT I just don't see myself married or in a committed relationship right now." She said she's confused..."how can he be so dumb?! I'm PERFECT for him! He said it himself!"..blah blah blah . Never heard that before either or ever said it (more sarcasm). Then she asked "what do you think he means?"..are you ready? I asked...
1) He may love you but loves his own freedom more. Selfish but, hey, one life to live right? He's giving you the change to live yours too selfishly! Girls or Gay boys night! cool.
2) He's afraid of you/"us" changing or complicating things..basically afraid of the responsibility and accountability needed for a commitment. yes..that would make him a cop out but isn't it nice to know he's not man enough for you now? (I;m very familiar with this one)
3) He's just telling you what you want to hear. He doesn't want to hurt you so he plays a sweet Bach tune in your ears to put you to sleep. He's basically trying to keep you from jumping off a cliff or stabbing him. NICE MOVE. He's either a text book player or thinks you are crazy. Either way, you'll never know the truth. This guy sticks to the classic, safe lines: its me, really! not you..
4) Can be a man thing. He doesn't feel that he has the means to be a man to you. Weddings, Wives, and Children are getting pretty pricey these days. Some men want to be the best that they can be. (or maybe they are waiting for you to get a job and contribute...not sure). His career maybe his priority or clearing his debts or buying a house for his future family. This is a man that may want the best for you or at least wants to feel man enough for himself. At least this has some dignity to it.
BUT either one of the stories above have the same real life storybook ending...the slipper didn't fit, wolf got his dessert, or the yellow brick road is closed for repair. You are focused on his words and not his actions. That word , PERFECT, stuck to you and not the fact that he doesn't feel you are worth keeping (or is able to keep you hold on) anymore. Don't hate yourself or burn his house. Know that you sometimes don't get the cover right on the first, second , etc try. Or maybe what he's cooking doesn't need a cover.
Focus on what will be best for you- a cover that fits - a man who will think you ARE worth it - a realistic and true happy ending...
Love you grandma and mom ;-)
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