This is day 3 of the do's and don'ts of reflecting a classy image without sacrificing sex appeal or comfort when on the dating/socializing scene. These series of posts are not to be offensive but instead the light at the end of the taste tunnel.
Sorry this post is coming so late but after Valentine's Day yesterday, I was a little out of it today.
How the blog is broken up: an individual's appeal starts with first impression then moves to personality/body language.
DISCLAIMER (reminder): Because there were SO many different things to write about on this subject, I decided to stick to 1 main issue each night of the Valentine's Day week 2011, one for the ladies and 1 for the gents, alternating. Ladies again....
Tuesday, February 15
LADIES
First Impression
- Caked up. I see them all of the time. I know some of them personally. The ladies that take 2 hours to pile on 3 layers of cosmetics in order to improve their beauty. This habit dates back to the time of Cleopatra around 30BC, way before cosmetic surgery and skin care became a billion dollar business. So why with all of the innovations for skin protection and skin improvement, that ladies still feel the need to cover every inch of their face, whether day or night, with enough coloring to paint a mid-sized car? As a woman, I ,too, have a collection of Nars, MAC, Bobbi Brown, L'Oreal, among others. I don't even use of all the things I buy. I just like to feel I have everything I need, and like in my toddler years, I love seeing all of the colors in my box (boxes, actually). I think many women can relate to this. Makeup is a necessary part of our regimen. It is our womanly right to cover up and enhance whatever in order to beguile men and our female peers into believing we are as perfect as the woman next door or the one on the cover. I get it. Age doesn't do a woman's body any good. Between dark eye circles, enlarged pores, sun spots, blotchy skin - list goes on of possibilities - we have to work to keep things together. But this isn't for the average woman. This is for THAT woman. My issue is with the women that thins out their eyebrows just to paint them back in with a pencil. My concern is with the women that coordinates their makeup to reflect the colors in their outfits. My thoughts pertain to the women whose face has so much primer, concealer, foundation and powder that their faces become as hard to stay as it is to cut a piece of lasagna while keeping the layers in tack. It is to those women that keep leaving stains on my face and shirt when giving me welcoming hugs and kisses. Some people out there owe a lot of dry cleaning money.....As always, I have my little list of cues and suggestions for improving this horrible state which I call, Unrestrained Facial Morphia (UFM)
- Eyebrows. FYI:..the more you wax and pluck, the less they grow so keep that in mind when you are having someone rip out half of your eyebrows. Get a clue: Pencils NEVER replicate the look of an actual brow!!!! Especially the black ones! I just don't get it. Ever seen a clown at the circus? Ever take a good look at Minnie Mouse? You think that's hot? If you don't think your brows are full enough, there is a right way for filling them up. A) You can have your brows tinted at the salon to a shade 1-2 shades darker than your hair. B) Buy an angled tip eyeshadow brow and use eyeshadow using sweeping motions that would replicate the direction your brows grow C) Too used to the pencil? Buy a pencil made for brows in the color of your brows, not your hair or hair color you wished you were. Finish off with clear mascara to create a finished clean look that won't budge. Look in the mirror right now. Are you surprised as the simplicity of the tips? Or you just just look surprised because you crayoned your brow too high?
- Eye lids. I am a big advocate for going out and putting the make up artistry skills to the test. I've blended up to 3 colors to create the perfect hue to make my eyes pop but I know my limits. I know I can't do all of the tricks I see in the magazines, and as a black woman, I prefer not to attempt the trendy citrus bright yellow hitting the runways. Know when to stop! Your eye lids don't have to match your purple, green and red polka dot dress (God forbid you would even want to wear a dress like that - your issue would really be color blindness)! Colors change by season so go accordingly but keeping in mind that your skin tone should determine which colors to wear, not your outfit. TIP. Metallics and Glitter during the day is off putting. Would you wear a silver sequined top to work? If your answer is yes, then once again, your problem is way deeper than this post can address. TIP: If going to play up the eyes, go subtle on the lips. POW on the eyes and BAM on the lips is an epileptic's nightmare. TOO MUCH TOO LOOK AT. Pick one, preferably, your preferred feature and keep yourself from looking like a Vegas showgirl.
- Blushing. Ok...Do you know what blush is supposed to do? The purpose originally was to give pale women the look of being sun kissed and child like by giving the appearance of full cheeks. That intent has not changed. So why do so many ladies look like they stepped out of their place after a domestic dispute??? I can't tell if its too much blush or if I should call the police and report a woman beater! The best way to avoid this is to apply blush last. Also make sure you keep you brush clean or avoid over depositing. Tap your brush with the blush before apply to remove excess. Choose colors that look like what would rosy cheeks would look like after a little sun. If you are trying to make your face look thinner, use bronzer or a foundation 1-2 shades darker for a more natural effect. Please help stop all of the 911 abuse false alarms.
- Your Base. There are 3 steps here: Concealer, Foundation and Powder. My tip is only do these 3 if you are going out at night to somewhere where you might sweat or is dark, going to photo shoot or are over 45. Concealer is to..you guessed it..conceal! If you apply it all over your face, you might as well wear a paper bag over your head or should consult a cosmetic dermatologist/surgeon. Apply lightly under the eyes or on any spots. That's all you need. Your foundation should be a light one for the day and a heavier if needed for more engaging events. Powder should be dusted lightly with a brush and not with those bacteria filled pads., It serves to set the entire look. Use a translucent one for day. These are commonly known tips so I'll go the issue that bothers me the most -- WHEN THE COLORS DON'T MATCH YOUR SKIN!!! Everyone can tell that sharp line between the jaw and the neck. Black girls like ashy while their neck is chocolate. White girls look orange or bright pink while their neck looks ivory. Since you can't apply makeup ALL OVER your body (unless you are a supermodel or Kim Kardashian), people can tell that the color difference comes from makeup. Remember, makeup is supposed to enhance what you already have, not morph you into another face. Besides, you know how disappointing it is when a significant other's pillow is damaged or sees the real you in the morning. Men think its beer goggles but its actually it's the make up mask lifted. Don't be THAT girl.
Personality and Body Language
- Off Stride. There is nothing more unattractive that a woman that can't walk in heels and walks like she had an 800lbs gorilla on her shoulders. Stand up straight! If Haitian women can walk up hills and mountain sides with buckets of water balanced on cloth and still stand up straight -- SO CAN YOU! When a woman walks into a space, aside form the way she looks, there is an energy that she gives off with her eye contact, stance, and stride. A woman in control of her body movement is a woman that can exude power, class, respect and charm - all at once. Do you know why so many of us are in awe at models on the runway? Because there is something is the long line from toe to head coming as you with hips swaying. Whether you are 4ft or 6ft, standing tall, walking comfortably straight, eyes up and glancing around, and a good posture, says don't ____ with me. I've seen so many women degrade amazing shoes by walking like a duck with toes pointed out, wobbly or stomping like they are rain dancing. Life is a runway honey...work it! As far as we know, your life show only has 1 premiere so take advantage and make everywhere you walk into your stage to exude confidence (even if you aren't so confident). This can get you jobs AND dates. If you think you can't walk in heels, then start low or buy a bigger size! TIP: If you know there is a possibility that you will be spending over 2 hours standing up or walking around, don't wear the shoes YOU KNOW are going to kill your feet after 20 minutes for the sake of looking cute. Why? Because when you have to sit down for an hour while everyone else is still up or have that I-can't-feel-my-toes face, everyone can see it. You stop the flow of things around you because of your shoes. (TIP TO THE GUYS: A woman has needs a 1 hour up and 20 minute down, stand to sit ratio. This is as much as we can give you without wearing sneakers or grand ma shoes. Plan accordingly. Don't park too far. Find a stool at the bar for her. Do the right thing and it will play in your favor)
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